The Lacquonteur

I wrote a long, two part post that tumblr ate. I don’t know how, but as for the why, I’m pretty sure it’s because tumblr is a jerk. And sexist.

I’ll try to get my motivation up to post it again… someday.

Just about every polish n00b who comes along gets a flutter in their heart when they first see this gorgeous chickie: Zoya Charla.

Charla is such a beaut that she DEFIES cameras. She says, bitch, you can’t take no picture of me! Step off!

She ain’t lyin’. First of all, Charla is a lot more of a true teal than it photographs. She always looks more blue in photos than she really is.

Also all that glitter makes the camera freak the fuck out. It just doesn’t know what to do, so it has some sort of seizure. That’s the only explanation for how hard it was to get photos of her not as a blurry mess. The ONLY explanation.

She will also be most new nail polish lovers experience with Smurf Fingers. Yeah, removing this baby is even bitchier than photographing it. Not by a lot, mind you, but be prepared. I recommend a double coat of base before this one. And I’d be careful with using the tinfoil method to get this glittery sister off cuz I think that may make the staining worse… y’know… soaking your nails in solvent and blue dye. Mebbe. Just sayin’.

I think Charla just likes being difficult cuz she knows we’ll take it. We’ll take and we’ll thank her for it because she’s just so gosh darned pretty.

Okay, so I was involved in a Halloween gift exchange back.. y’know… on Halloween. And the person who got me was a lovely American lady named Ann, who sent me (among other things) this coffin shaped bottle of awesome.

I am certain she thought I was being an insane person with how much I raved about this polish. I maintain, however, that if Chanel had released this shade, people would’ve gone batshit insane for it.

Can you see that subtle, gorgeous shimmer? This is such an incredibly beautiful grey creme, but still somehow manages to show through with this beautiful blue microglitter. And it’s not JUST blue, but that’s the prevalent colour, and the easiest to see.

There’s also some purple and pink in there. Maybe some silver, but I’m not certain. Either way, it just adds this gorgeous mystery to a really lovely grey creme. Classy but interesting. Subdued but fun. AWESOME IN ALL WAYS.

These polishes are usually released every Halloween, but I’m not 100% certain they have the same colours each year. However, if you see Phantasm out next Halloween, go for it!

Oh ho ho, OPI - will you ever stop wowing us with your clever nail polish titles? You see what they did there? It’s like ATTITUDE but with a cat in front. Genius.

Yeah.

ANYWAY. Despite it’s unfortunate name, I really like this polish. She just has a bad sense of humour. I’ve had quite a long running task, looking for the perfect light blue and I’ve realized… I don’t think there is just one perfect light blue. There are many! :D And WWTC one of them.

This beautiful blue was part of the OPI Shrek Forever After collex from Summer 2010. I got into nail polish a bit after she was released but I immediately knew I wanted her. But she did not want me, let me tell you what.

I couldn’t find WWTC anywhere in store. All kinds of Donkeys and Fionas and Shreks, but no Cattitude. Then, I arranged no less than three, count ‘em, THREE swaps for this polish, and each fell through for different reasons (person changed their mind, person lost the polish, whatever). I also bought her from two online shops, both of which later refunded me the money after they realized they didn’t have WWTC in stock after all.

So I gave up on her.

But then my completely radawesome bud B picked up a bottle for me that she came across in some shop! What! I was soooo blown away! And I was also worried for her life before she gave WWTC to me… like, surely a bolt of lightning would strike her or something, to prevent me from getting this bottle of nail polish. Thankfully not, and I got my grubby mitts on her (ooh, naughty). Hah! Take that, world!

What’s With the Cattitude is frequently used as undies for Lynnderella’s Connect the Dots, so I gave it a whirl. And I love it! No wonder it’s such a popular combo. Though honestly, Connect the Dots looks amazing over just about anything.

I kind of think of this as a pairing of brains and beauty. Clearly Connect the Dots is a clever little girl, and WWTC is just another pretty face (but what a face!). Sooo… together they’re the perfect duo!

I’ve got a bunch more Lynnderella’s in the mail and I can’t wait to give ‘em a whirl! The big combo I’m looking forward to is Boy Girl Party over BL Black Knight. Ooh, I think it’ll be gorgeous! :D

So, I’m not a big fan of the Hunger Games books. Not because I don’t like them, but because I haven’t read them. However, I’ve heard the hype about the new China Glaze collection, based on the books, which I admit does pique my interest a bit. An early photo was released of the new collection:

Then there was all this mucky muck about a lawsuit and the collection was going to be cancelled or something. Cries were heard from Hunger Game fans around the world, who apparently felt very strongly about being able to bring the Hunger Games to their lives on their fingernails. Then all was right in the world and the collection was officially announced with this image.

Now, it doesn’t take a degree in detectivology to notice that these colours are very similar - in fact, the same. What gets me is I like to think (in my naivety) that when they say these colours were inspired by things in the books, they actually were inspired by things in the books. It seems to me this is clearly not the case as most of the names (which inspired the colours) changed between the collections.

In keeping with the powerful themes and messages of the story, the collection of nail polish will be inspired exclusively by one of the book’s distinct settings - the Capitol of the nation of Panem. (as per Scrangie’s post of the China Glaze press release) 

Now I’m calling bull and shit. The differences between the names while maintaining identical colours pretty much states “We wanted to sell these colours and Hunger Games is hot right now, so lets stick some labels on these bad boys!”.

Regardless I’m interested in picking up some of these polishes, notably Hook and Line, Stone Cold, Smoke and Ashes, and Riveting. I’m not super big into browns so I’m passing those by. But anyway, I’m sad and disillusioned. How can I ever believe China Glaze again now that they’re proven liars? For all I know they test their nail polishes on unicorns and puppies, and are just claiming not to test on animals. Maybe their polishes are made of nuclear material! Maybe the CEO is a Commie! How can I ever know for certain? Damn.

Hello - just dropping by to let you know that Polish Wasteland is having a giveaway. Some phat lewts available! Among other goodies, included is one each of the colour morphing top coats that are made from the powders More Nail Polish is selling. I bought some, but I’m scared I’m going to mess them up! Sad.

Good luck!

Today, my dear readers, I have for you a swatch of the wonderful Orly Vintage Velvet. This is part of FingerPaint’s Fall collection, “Fall Fashionista”, which is pretty much entirely dusky cremes. I like it, personally, but I am quite the glitter whore, so I will probably end up topping this baby with various other stuff. Glitter, shimmer, colour changing top coat, gold lame, who knows. Don’t take it personal, FP, I still love ya. Just not as you are.

Well, no lie, she’s pretty gorgeous on her own. I would describe her as the wallflower in the corner of the bar. Not too flashy or flirty, but once you get to know her, you’ll find she has a hilarious sense of humour and a great body under those bulky clothes.

And then you’ll convince her to tramp it up.

I tried a few different top coats to see what would bring out her inner ho. From left to right: Misa Sweet Pleasure, Butter Henley Regatta, Essence Edward, Nubar 2010. I think they all look fun, though my faves are definitely Henley Regatta and Edward, I’m not very fond of Nubar 2010. In retrospect, I think Nfu Oh 50 would’ve worked better, but I was trying to keep it real y’all. By which I mean, not using too many exotic polishes.

Regardless, Vintage Velvet is a win. Super creamy formula too! Could be one thick and sloppy coat, but if you have any care for her, I would advise on two. C’mon, she’s worth the effort.

I have recently received a whole wack of frankening supplies which I was impatiently waiting for. For those of you who don’t know, frankening is the “art” of combining nail polishes (or bases and pigments) to make new nail polishes. Various parts for a new whole, y’get it?

I have, at last count, mixed up about 28 new polishes. These are all in mini 5ml bottles so it’s not as epic as it sounds. I thought I would give you some spammy spam of my new creations! Note: I’m not a particularly amazing frankener, so be gentle in your inevitable judgments.

Holo Series

Turquoise Foil Series

Turquoise Glitter Jelly Series

Various Other Stuff Series

I’ve already made a few more, but they’re pretty plain… a light pink creme that was supposed to have shimmer but doesn’t.. a light teal cream with a couple sparkle. A chunky weird white glitter… Yeah, I find it’s a lot easier to make horrible polishes when using random glitter. Do not advise.

As I mentioned, the other day I received my Glymm box. I cracked it open this morning, and I have to say it was packaged very nicely. Inside came: John Masters Organics Blood Orange & Vanilla body wash & body milk, Vasanti “Rockies” blush, an Oscar de la Renta (Esprit D’Oscar) perfume sample, and a Croc cosmetics case.

I was initially super not thrilled. I don’t really like blood orange OR vanilla, but then I smelled the lotion and it’s actually very pleasant. Fresh but soft, really nice. I’m looking forward to the shower gel. I don’t have enough different scents in bath gels (totally a lie).

The blush looked to me like neon highlighter in a orangey red. I decided to try it out anyway, in the spirit of science, and also cuz it kind of reminded me of pics of NARS Orgasm, which is supposed to be a k-rad blush. I applied it on my cheekbones and it was quite pretty. Bright but I blended it in so it wasn’t too clownish.

Side story: When I was in grade four (nine years old?) I was applying blush, getting ready for a dance show I was in (yes, my sordid past). My bestest frenemy looked over at me and was like “Haha, everyone look, she looks like a CLOWN!”. I guess it was bright, but in my defense it was for a stage show - you’re supposed to make it bright. Anyway, I’ve been traumatized ever since, and hardly use any blush. That which I do use is the lightest possible shade I can get (it’s called Palest Rose or something). So it was a BIG STEP for me to try this crazy bright blush, and I did it for YOU.

Also, it had a really pretty faint shimmeriness to it. Totally surprised me, I didn’t see it in the compact at all, but it caught the light very subtley. And the compact is sooo cute, with a little mirror and everything. Love it! I guess I won’t be rocking my Pale As Death look as often. Or if I do, I’ll look like my death was due to carbon dioxide poisoning.

The perfume sample ain’t me. Unless I turn into a tall, willowy blonde that likes to walk through malls while I envision meadows. I dunno, that’s the image I get from this perfume. Very light, floral but not sweet, almost … cold smelling. I guess I would say, it’s a cool, floral scent that is sophisticated but feminine. Which I see is what the included letter said that I didn’t read till this moment. I always knew I should’ve been a perfumer.

Finally, the croc case. I really hope it’s not actual crocodile. It doesn’t feel like it to me, but I am no croc-skin expert. Regardless, I have so damn many random cosmetic cases as extras, and I hardly ever even buy cosemtics. I really hate getting these - it just seems so wasteful, and how can I possibly need another. SO MANY.

OH, I almost forgot about my favourite part - JELLY BELLIES! Yes, a cute little glass jar of vanilla and grape(?) jelly beans. And not just ANY jelly beans, Jelly Bellies, which are my favourite. Yum yum yum. Also, the glass jar is of course reuseable and perfect for storing little cosmeticy things. Sweet!

All in all, I give it about a 7/10. Maybe 6.5. It was wrapped nicely, I like that all the product info was given to me, and the samples don’t seem stingy. However, I didn’t get much that I’m actually interested in. This is very possibly because I’m not much of a make up person. When I signed up, I figured best case I’d find some new stuff, worst case I’d get some extras for swapping.

I just received notification that my Glymm box shipped. I haven’t really looked around their web site much, but I decided to check it out. I almost laughed out loud in the middle of my art history class. One of those loud, abrupt, barking laughs, like a seal. I managed to swallow it - whew. $12 for OPI. YES. $12. I can’t even imagine. They’re $9-$10 max at the most expensive shops I’ve seen them in, like hair salons and such. And these are just the current OPI’s, like Roadhouse Blues and whathaveyou. TWELVE DOLLARS. Oh Glymm, you so funny. I have here a picture of OPI Yoga-ta Get This Blue (with super bright flash). It’s a wicked intense blue, and I will sell it to you for the low, low price of $40. I like to top it with Icing Epic Winning. Epic Winning so is what it says - win!

Icing Epic Winning

Icing Epic Winning with blur to show radawesome rainbowy sparklage!

Strangely, Butter London’s are $17, which is what I see them for in store, so I don’t know why OPI is so ridic. I buy Butter online anyway so I usually don’t spend more than $14, but at least their BL prices are more in line with reality.

Butter London Victoriana (this is fairly colour accurate)

Butter London Victoriana with flash (see the shimmer… love the shimmer!)

Vampy Varnish just posted her updated list of cruelty free nail polish brands. I know a lot of people who feel passionately about being cruelty free, and I have to say I agree. However. I don’t really see the purpose in not buying from companies that are cruelty free but parent companies are not. The subcompanies are usually kept completely separate. They receive no benefit from each other, so research results from animal testing won’t go to every company in their umbrella.

So I find this list only somewhat useful. I hear L’Oreal does animal testing so I’m not buying from them anymore. They own a bajillion companies that do not animal test - I don’t have a problem buying from them. If anything, I think when the parent companies see the (hypothetical) higher sales of their non-animal testing branches, they’ll be more inclined to abandon animal testing all together. Also, VV mentioned that in order to sell in some countries, you HAVE to test on animals. That’s wack - but it sure makes me feel a little less accusatory about the whole thing. Though I still won’t (knowingly) buy animal tested products.

Oh, I finally installed that thingie that allows people to comment on posts. Posting about animal testing inspired me.

* The link to Glymm is my reference link - don’t use it if you hate me! *